


Defeat

by IReekOfHavoc



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt Lucifer, Hurt/Comfort, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Whump, Mental Breakdown, Reconciliation, Seizures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-24 21:25:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14364003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IReekOfHavoc/pseuds/IReekOfHavoc
Summary: Lucifer's breakdown is more catastrophic and he suffers a seizure. (AU to 3.20)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First Lucifer fic!! Oh boy, the angst was *heavy* in this episode and, of course, that just wasn't enough for me. (Also low-key salty about how cold Chloe was towards Luci throughout the ep, I mean look at him! He looks utterly destroyed!) I imagine that the only way Lucifer would suffer a seizure from all the stress + lack of sleep would be hanging around the detective (thus making him vulnerable) But this still would never happen?? Anyways, enjoy my trash:

Lucifer walked into the interrogation room complacently, the Detective shutting the door behind them. 

He was trembling fiercely, feeling this icy cold, _wrongness_ in his chest- pulling his hair from the roots to distract him from everything. He didn’t know what was real anymore, everything was jumbled and spiraling out of his control- and that terrified him.

He turned to Chloe, eyes wild and panicked, meeting her cool, impassive one. He couldn’t get past the horrendous shaking, what on earth was happening to him?

“Lucifer.” She called out, crossing her arms.“I’ve had it.” She stated firmly.

Lucifer dropped his hands- rolling his eyes because _of course_ she didn’t understand.

“Of course you won’t understand, will you? It’s my _wings_!” He started, eyes wide and voice in a semi-taunt of himself, because he knew she couldn’t believe him. “-My father, manipulating me do things that I would never do!” He cried out to her, hands gesticulating wildly.

“What? Like flying through the night, helping people like some rouge Angel?” He couldn’t catch the sarcasm, and hope lit up in a second that maybe she did understand- _please have her understand._

“Yes! _Yes_!” He said excitedly, pointing at her. “It’s the only plausible situation!”

And for honesty’s sake he threw in, “Or Linda’s right and I’m suppressing pent-up feelings about you and Pierce which that is _absurd_.” He scoffed, looking back at her to see if she was amused too- he couldn’t tell.

“You hate that I’m with him.”

“I couldn’t care less that you’re with that insolent dullard.” He waved off, but that was the whole point, wasn’t it? It just had to be _him_. He desperately wanted her to be happy, but knowing Cain’s intentions that included breaking the detective’s heart so he could bloody-well die infuriated him.

“We both know that’s not true. But what I want to know is why it bothers you so much.” And even he couldn’t mistake the accusation in her impassive tone. He can’t explain, he can’t- she would never believe him.

“Right, you think I’m purposely cock-blocking your relationship with the lieutenant because I’m jealous?” He said with scorn. He wanted her _happy,_ couldn’t she see?But that was not the case.

He turned to her and there was hurt and anger, her mouth small and twisted in rage at his words. He tried again, back-pedalling: “Detective, this is about more that that! I said that something like that was ridiculous, please detective, I can’t-.”

“Can’t what!” She shouted.

The room started to spin and everything started to collide into him at once.

“My feelings, my relationship with Pierce isn’t _ridiculous_ or absurd- It’s _real_. It’s real and I’m happy, Lucifer!”

 _Real_? Chloe was _made_ for him by his father- the thought was abhorrent, disgusting and cruel, and he could not stand for it. He would not. But here she was, fully capable of falling for someone that wasn’t him.

Maybe this was his father’s true plan all along. To hurt him, laugh at the idea that he could ever be deserving of someone as good as her. He had to give her her choice back, he had to leave- but even he couldn’t control himself. He came back anyways. That was his mistake. 

“Let me tell you what I think about Marcus.” Her voice was dripping with venom, and it _ached_.

It was clear that she couldn’t stand him. She thought he was crazy; A delusional manic. She would never believe him, and why would she? But the thought of showing her his cursed wings, forced onto him by dear old Dad. No, he could not trick her into thinking he was the righteous angel his Father wanted him to be, that those… things represented him. He was a monster, and she had to see that. She had a _right_ to see that.

He stumbled, leaning onto the interrogation table with a shaky breath.

But that was it, wasn’t it? He was losing himself. First, he’d been stripped of his devil face- eons of torment erased in a moment, _healed_ ,because dad decided he was ‘deserving’ of forgiveness. Then, to add insult to injury, his bloody wings were slapped on his back, and there to stay, springing out whenever- completely out of his control.

He couldn’t even _control_ himself in his own sleep. Forced against his will to do his Father’s works. This was it- Dad deciding once in for all that he was going to finally take back his free-will. What would he do next? What would He make him do next?It shook him to the core, being stripped away of his identity. It had been slow, gradual, and cruel. His wings, his face, Chloe. His Father was _God_.Everything on Earth could be designed to hurt and destroy him- even Chloe.

“He is a _good_ man, who treats me right!”

Because in the end, he’d hurt her. The one person who he cared for more than anything- he’d hurt- over and over and over again. And worst still, he couldn’t seem to stop. But he needed to keep her safe, after the poison and all that his family orchestrated to make _him_ suffer- she didn’t… deserve…. _any_ of that.

And she doesn’t even know _who_ she is. She can’t, because- because she’s innocent and…

“And I’m happy Lucifer, and all I know is how I feel when I’m around him.”

Happy? Cain? Was it… ? _It was too late._

It was getting harder to… think and he couldn’t-

“You’re not even listening to me-!”

He tried to focus on the detective, the shapes her mouths made, and the words that came after… and he couldn’t piece them together.

“ _Unbelievable_. You know, for a second, I thought you cared about us-.”

He… couldn’t understand. He’d stood up to… His father, fighting for his freedom.… And now He was…finally doing it- relinquishing his control. Taking back what was _His_.

“Tell me why, Lucifer. Why shouldn’t I be with Pierce?” She demanded, crossing her arms.

It was frightening, and he desperately tried to communicate through his eyes his urgency to the detective, to just-please, listen to him.

“He’s CAIN! Pierce is Cain- From the Bible- the first murderer - the one who killed his brother, Abel. Please trust me, Detective, he’s just using you to-.”

 _“STOP!” S_ he interrupted, and he immediately deflated.“If you’re not going to take this seriously…” She shook her head, looking away.

 _“I am.”_ He insisted, practically pleading.

“You’re not thinking straight.” Chloe said, with finality, eyes firmly meeting his. “Go home, Lucifer, you’re tired.”

“IT’S NOT BECAUSE I’M TIRED!” He shouted, banging his fists against his temple, frustration boiling over, backing away. “ITS BECAUSE-.”

“Because your Father’s out to get you? Because of your _WINGS_? Because you’re the DEVIL?!”

“YES!” He roared back.

“THEN JUST _LEAVE_!” She yelled back. He froze.

 

_No, no, no no-_

 

_Not her too._

 

He laughed, jutting his finger in her direction before walking away, running his hands through his hair, yanking it. She was sick of him, she _hated_ him. An overwhelmingly loud buzz sounded in his head. _It was true, it was all true._

“Lucifer!” He could hear the detective cry out and she was in front of him in a blink of an eye. How did he end up on the floor?He scooted away from her, curling himself into the wall.

It was obvious what was happening- She thought he was pathetic, crazy. He couldn’t see that- yet he couldn’t prove to her- because then _He’ll_ win- and she deserves more than this, more than Cain, more than Him. Why couldn’t he just stay away? None of this would’ve happened if _he just stayed away._

“He’s- he’s-.” He struggled, “Detec…tive.” he slurred, her face blurring in and out, everything fragmented and nonsensical, and he felt alarmingly nauseated and-brittle.

His father was finally taking him back, reclaiming what He owned and he’s powerless to stop it.

He _couldn’t lose himself._

That couldn’t happen. No, no, no, _no_ \- 

He started banging his head against the wall, hoping to make it splinter and break- to cease all the wretched, unrelenting noise.

Chloe startled, breath hitching as Lucifer started to bang his head against the wall behind him relentlessly, the image of it terrifying her-, “No!” She cried out, moving forwards to place her hand behind his head to brace the blow, bruising her knuckles yet sparing him another blow. 

“Lucifer!” She shouted, trying to calm him, steady him- She didn’t know what to do. He didn’t seem to see her there. Was this a panic attack? A breakdown?

He was muttering something incoherently, face alternating between his typical grin, and confusion- it never looked more unnerving.

“HELP!” She yelled, turning her head towards the door, torn between leaving to get help and staying with Lucifer, worried that the latter would hurt himself if she did.

Turning back to him, hand still resting behind his head, tried to turn him to face her, “Lucifer, please, look at me.” His chest heaved, and he shoved himself away from her, digging his heels into the floor to drive himself further into the wall, shaking his head, like some cornered, abused animal.

“Please, look at me.” Her voice breaking, trying to place her hands on his face, to gently turn him to look at her.

He forced himself away from her enticing touch, scrambling away, running for the door- at the exact time, it flung open, and Daniel got an armful of Lucifer.

“Woah, Lucifer!” Daniel took one look at Lucifer as he scrambled to push himself off him-and he knew something was wrong.

He gripped his hands on Lucifer’s arms, steadying him “ What’s wrong, what happened?” He questioned as the consultant’s eyes darted around the room, eying the door, trembling.

“Let me go, Daniel-.” He tried to push past but Dan pushed back, determined to hold him in place and get an answer- but that was the moment Lucifer’s legs decided to abruptly give out.

Dan instinctively grabbed Lucifer before he could fall, arms wrapped around his torso, awkwardly and slowly lowering him onto the floor. He made eye-contact with Chloe who’s eyes were wide in concern.

“What’s wrong with him?!” He asked, Lucifer’s head balanced on his lap, Chloe finally made her way to him kneeling beside them.

“Is he on drugs or something?” Dan demanded, looking directly at Chloe, tone concerned. She shook her head, dismissing him, checking over her partner. Dan looked down and saw that Lucifer was twitching violently, his eyes rolling to the back of head, breaths hitched and laboured. 

"H-he’s having a seizure.” Chloe denounced with with dread. She placed her hands on his cheeks, forehead- noting the lack of response and his cold skin. “Call an ambo!”

Suddenly, Lucifer’s throat tensed up, and his back arched, spit beginning to dribble from the corners of his mouth. The veins of his neck protruding, brows screwed and face tight in strain, eyes still rolled back.

They could only watch in unadulterated horror as Lucifer began to convulse, his body spasming in erratic twitches.

“MEDIC!” They could hear Ella holler, whom had suddenly appeared at the door, though disappearing as soon as she came.

“What do we do?” Dan asked frantically, but Chloe couldn’t answer. Dan wrapped his arms around Lucifer’s chest, dragging him up, pinning down his arms, subduing some of the more violent jerks of the arms. They watched helplessly as Lucifer spasmed, arms twitching, fists punching the ground and legs kicking out, his body convulsing _horribly_. Chloe couldn’t do anything but keep at a distance to avoid the flailing limbs, and listen to the guttural and continuous moan, foam bubbling in his mouth, and the whites of his eyes flicker.

Chloe swallowed, feeling helpless as she watched with wide eyes as her partner thrashed beneath Dan's hold, continuously banging his head against him rhythmically. As if more lucid, Lucifer suddenly grabbed onto and latched to Dan’s arms, holding on for dear life..

It was at that moment that the paramedics came in, Ella tailing behind them.

There was shouting, the medics swarming around him, forcing Dan and Chloe to stand back, until Lucifer was obscured from their sight, but they could still hear his horrific, wheezing breaths.

It seemed like an age until the fits ceased, and they were able to lift him onto the stretcher, strapping an oxygen mask over his face. Chloe followed them out, insisting she joined them, still in a daze.

“I’m coming too.” Chloe could hear Dan say. She just nodded numbly, following the paramedics out at a brisk pace. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I have to thank everyone who liked and commented- I wasn't expected the response I got, and I appreciate the support so much! 
> 
> Unfortunately, this chapter is fairly rushed, as I wanted to get this out with the new episodes, and so I could focus on my exams. (Final Exams!!!) The wording may be a bit clumsy, some terminology incorrect with the focus mostly on the dialogue- but I wanted to offer up something. This also means the third chapter won't be released for quite sometime, because *exams** But it will be written... probably around the time the last episode comes out. *Cries* 
> 
> God, the new episode was horrible. Poor Chloe! Lucifer...w hy you do this?? You're so dumb. I hate this cursed love triangle and both of them fighting over Chloe like children... It's excruciating to watch.

Chloe was still reeling in shock at what had happened in the past few hours, revisiting the scene in her head, and wondering about the dozens of ways it could've been prevented. The last time she’d seen a person break like that was Jimmy Barnes all those years ago- and that had been because of Lucifer. 

She knew that Lucifer wasn’t happy with her and Pierce together- but she thought he was being selfish, petty-because for once, someone showed that they _cared_ when Lucifer kept pushing her away. She was happy. And when Lucifer tried to hide, blame and insisted it had something to do with his dad, and his wings and- typical Lucifer-shenanigans- she was just so… angry. 

But the way Lucifer was invested in the case, believing wholeheartedly that he’d been the rouge-angel or whatever, she brushed it off as one of his attempts to project on the case. It wasn't unusual. 

And then he stopped sleeping.

Maybe he was right. Maybe he was telling the truth- maybe somewhere along the metaphor, his Dad was in town, and the wings- or maybe he was just… sick.

Chloe shook her head, ridding herself of the thought. No. He was just tired. _Extremely_ tired. 

But what had happened?

She’d never felt so helpless as she witnessed her partner completely come apart at the seams right in front of her. It broke her heart to see Lucifer like that- reminding her all too well of the case they'd worked on together a few months back, where he'd put himself in front of sniper, daring at them to shoot him, his usual immaculate self in complete disarray. Chloe still didn't know what that was about-and here she was again, completely clueless . She’d never forget the way he had suddenly dropped, eyes rolling to the back of his head. The way she couldn’t get there fast enough to catch him, hearing his head smack against the precinct floor, the sound of it making her cry out. 

But nothing compared to what he did to himself next, when he started to _bang_ his head against the wall as if he wanted to break it open, and with so much force that she swore she heard it crack. That whole image sent chills down her spine- but she couldn't understand for the life of her, _why?_

Witnessing Lucifer have a seizure was terrifying. He always acted invincible, always up for reminding everyone that he was 'immortal', and sometimes it was just so easy to buy into. She should’ve known something was wrong when he first waltz into the precinct in the state he was in- suit clearly put on in a haste, hair disheveled, and eyes red as if- _because_ he hadn't slept in a week.  She should've at least thought that  _maybe_ this was something outside of her and Pierce.  Hell, she should’ve drove him home and forced him into bed, not leaving until she'd known he got some rest. She should’ve talked to him- not that would’ve gotten her anywhere- but she should’ve at the very least gotten him help. Did Linda know? Chloe knew Linda wouldn’t have let something like this slide. 

“Chloe?” 

“Huh?” 

She looked up and saw Dan gesturing to the doctor, whose arms were folded patiently. She nodded, standing up from one of the plastic waiting room chairs, composing herself quickly.

“How is he?” Chloe asked, the worry gnawing at her.

“What happened?” Dan asked immediately after, crossing his arms. The doctor looked between the two of them.

“Mr. Morningstar has had a seizure, albeit a quite violent one. He’s suffered a fracture to his parietal bone- his skull, but is otherwise fine and should make a full recovery. However, do you know whether Mr. Morningstar has a history of seizures or epilepsy that could’ve lead to this?” 

Chloe frowned, “Not that I know of, no.” 

“Then has he been undergoing anything exceptionally stressful? Any sleeping problems?” 

Chloe nodded, “He told me he hasn’t been sleeping properly, and yes, he’s dealing with some… issues.” 

This time, the doctor frowned, but nodded all the same. 

“He’ll stay with us for a few days, to just run a few more tests and get proper rest. Over the next few days, It’s important that he remains stress-free and gets plentiful rest.” 

Chloe nodded, looking towards the door. “Was this a one-time thing?” Dan asked. 

“To be honest, we don’t know that yet. Without his medical history, we can’t determine anything. We’ll be checking for possible brain damage, but we won’t be able to get the results to you for a few days.” 

“Can I see him now?” Chloe asked finally, interjecting. The doctor looked conflicted, but with one glance at Dan and Chloe, he gestured to the room. 

“He should be resting now, but yes. If he’s awake, please don’t mention anything that might stress him.”

Dan looked at her with sympathy, and squeezed her shoulder comfortingly

“I’ll hang back.” She nodded gratefully, leaving Dan with the doctor, and walked over to Lucifer’s room. She pushed the door quietly, careful to not make a noise, closing it behind her slowly. Turning around, she felt her heart shatter. 

Lucifer was awake-of course he was awake- but her usually exuberant and easily-excited parter looked devastating. Lucifer laid on the hospital bed, body smothered by a thin blanket and head propped up by a few pillows. His usual wide and gleeful eyes were half-lidded, tired, red rimmed. His dark hair disheveled, strands falling limply over his disturbingly gaunt face, that sported a distinct pallor, making him seem uncharacteristically sickly. He was hooked up to a few machines, IV drips ran up his arms as he stared absentmindedly at nothing. 

“Lucifer.” Chloe called out softly, walking quietly over to the chair beside him. He didn’t even acknowledge her, still staring thoughtfully, lost in thought. Chloe sat on the chair beside him, with a view of his profile. She was at loss for words, where could she even start?

“What was that?”He asked softly, snapping her out of her thoughts. 

“You had a seizure, Lucifer. Probably from exhaustion and all the… stress.” She explained slowly, mostly guessing. 

“Seizure?” Lucifer pondered, inclining his head to the side. It took her a few seconds to figure what he was waiting for. 

“Oh! Um, it’s when your brain…malfunctions and um it, caused the convulsions and…You probably don’t remember it but-.”

_“Oh I don't have to,_ detective.” Lucifer raised his eyebrows, scoffing. “I can imagine it all too well. I can see myself, _writhing_ around on the floor, my own body moving without my permission-.” He cut himself off, a bubble of emotion rising in his throat. Taking a deep breath, he looked down, returning his focus to the thin hospital sheets, twisting at them, almost as if he were testing and measuring his own grip. 

Chloe observed him for a few moments, “You’re supposed to be resting.” She said quietly. When he showed no sign of hearing her, she swallowed harshly.

“You’re _exhausted_.” She reminded him, almost pleading, almost angry. Trying to keep the emotions at bay, she tried jesting, sighing, “Don’t you ever do as you’re told?”

He didn’t take the bait and, in fact, winced at her choice of words, but let go of the sheets nonetheless, resting his head back. 

“I can’t sleep.” He repeated solemnly, voice tinged with fatigue.

“What do you mean?” Chloe pleaded, confused, tempted to put her hand over his and comfort him. He shook his head, but elaborated. “I’m scared to sleep.” He admitted softly and earnestly. 

“Nightmares?” She suggested. She only managed to catch the brief tilt of his head, resembling a nod. 

“Do you want to tell me about them?” 

Only then did Lucifer turn to look at her. His eyes glancing over her face, managing to look guilty, scared yet hopeful all at the same time. In short, he looked vulnerable. But it passed, and his eyes casted down, walls brought back up again. “I think not, detective.” 

She closed her eyes, dejected, slumping back, and pursed her lips. It was quiet, for a few minutes. The silence was tense, filled with unsaid words. 

“I can’t.” Lucifer shook his head, “I can’t do it anymore.” 

“Do what, Lucifer?” 

He stayed silent. Chloe sighed. 

“I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”

“You won’t believe me anyways, so what’s the point?” Lucifer exasperated hollowly, “You think I’m delusional, abused to the point of no return, rampant with jealously… so tell me detective, what is the point?” 

Chloe pursed her lips, leaning back and folding her hands on her lap. 

“I don’t know, Lucifer.” 

“Then you can’t help me.” 

Chloe couldn’t help but feel the sting of his words, her heart hurting at how distanced Lucifer seemed from her these days- and how defeated he seemed. It was so unlike him to give up and it deeply unsettled her. She wanted her partner back. 

“What if I got Linda? Could she help you?” 

He shrugged tiredly. 

She bit her lip, but stood from the chair. She had no idea what Lucifer discussed with Linda, or how much more Linda could possibly know about him that she could help him better than she. A surge of jealously passed through her at that train of thought, but she forced herself to shrug it off. At least he could get help- even if it wasn’t her. 

“Please, try to get some rest.” She said, hand sliding over the bed frame before leaving the room.  

* * *

 Lucifer swallowed the lump in his throat as he heard the door click, leaving him alone in the room once more.

 

A seizure. He had a seizure.

Perhaps the detective was right, and it was due to his missing week of drugs, _Bones_ , sex and other nonsensical activities done for his amusement. But he was the Devil. He was immune to sickness, fatigue and yet…

His argument with the detective at the precinct, when everything seemed to spiral out of his control, crashing and burning all around him, to only top if off with that… deeply unsettling experience. It was unfathomable, and worst still, he couldn't remembered any of it. He remembered the fear, not knowing what on earth was happening to him- only knowing that he'd lost completely control of himself.  He was horrified to hear what a 'seizure' was, by the dear doctor, left to imagine his limbs jerk out around him, body twitching uncontrollably, and how he'd almost choked to death on his own spit. It was a frightening loss of control, losing his body to something as mundane as a seizure.

He couldn’t even look at her. When she’d mention the nightmares, the image of her falling, his wings spiralling out of control and their fingers only barely brushing- but missing, leaving him screaming, powerless, as she plummeted to her death all came rushing back. Variations of the same dream, over and over, dangling a threat before him, the consequence to if he were to ever show her his blasted wings. And he couldn’t do that to her. Her horrified, confused and broken face always sprung into mind.

Turning his head to the side, attempting to gets somewhat comfortable on the stacks of hospital-grade pillows, his fingers traced up the IV, eyes flickering down to the needle imbedded into his wrist. 

He’d spent a majority of his existence fighting his Father, fighting his control, fighting his will. Fuelled by rage, heartbreak, betrayal, it was easy to detest and rebel against all He stood for, all He wanted for him. But now, with the detective, Cain, Mazikeen, his mother, his wings- him losing control of himself, it felt truly hopeless. What was the point in fighting God? It was inevitable, and he supposed, deep down he’d always known…

Lucifer felt like a burnt-out fuse, wrung dry by his time on earth.

He was so tired.

He’ll go back to Hell. He’ll rule. He’ll have his wings, and he’ll do his father’s bidding. As long as he was mercifully free of this… punishment.

But the detective- Chloe- deserved more than this. She deserved the truth but not like that. Suddenly, he perked up, remember something crucial.

“The statuette…” He muttered to himself. The cursed angel statue that started this whole thing- it was still at Lux. If he showed her, it would provide reason to why he’d been behaving this way- it wasn’t enough but it was something to subdue some of the delusion. At least, it was some place to start. And this time he’ll say goodbye, properly. He supposed it didn’t matter if his sanity was questioned- it could be reason enough for the detective to him leaving. 

There was no point delaying it any longer. 

He yanked the IV drip from his wrists, and forced himself out of the bed.

* * *

 Chloe made it to Linda’s office, calling ahead to see if she was available. Fortunately, it was the end of the day and she was able to meet up- however, something told Chloe that even she did was booked in with a string of sessions, she would cancel them all to help Lucifer.

Dan said he would call up Amenadiel, and explain what happened, and told her he would take over her paperwork for the night. An actual saint.

The door opened and Linda greeted her, ushering her in, “What happened? You sounded urgent on the phone.”

“Lucifer-he- we had a fight-um.” She swallowed the lump of emotion her throat, suddenly finding it difficult to explain, using her hands to try and gesticulate.

Linda immediately looked concerned, guiding her to the sofa, this time sitting beside her instead of her usual seat. Chloe took a deep breath, trying to gather herself, but nodded gratefully. 

“I should’ve known that something was wrong- and he wasn’t sleeping- and I thought it was about me and Pierce- .” Chloe took another deep breath, though it wavered.

“What happened, Chloe?” 

“He had a seizure, in the interrogation room while we were fighting.” Chloe pursed her lips, watching as Linda’s eyes widened. 

“What?” Linda gasped, “Is-Is he okay?” Linda, voice overtly concerned. Chloe closed her eyes, nodding. “Yeah, he’s in the hospital and they’re running some tests and- but they don't know what the problem is. Because, as usual, Lucifer refuses to tell them anything about his past, because he's so damed fixated on his stupid-devil mojo- so how on earth are they suppose to help him!” Chloe shouted, almost angrily. Linda just nodded, empathetic. 

Chloe swallowed, "I'm sorry-it's just..." She shook her head, this time turning to Linda. “I know that you’re under the patient-confidentially rule and you can’t discuss Lucifer’s sessions with me but I really just need to know…” 

“What is it that you know that I don’t that gets him to open up, I mean-.” Chloe shook her head, “I want to help him, I want to help him so bad but I don’t know _how_.”

Chloe clenched her fists, tightening them, looking up at the ceiling to blink the tears away. “You should’ve seen him today, Linda…” She bit her lip, shaking her head, trying to get rid of the frightful images that began to spring in her mind, of her partner's unseeing yet terrified wide eyes. 

“He just completely fell apart, I’ve never seen him like that before. God, He-He was _hurting_ himself and I just- I didn’t know what to do.”

Linda's eyes widened, filing this under the numerous things she had to discuss with Lucifer. Hurting himself? She knew how reckless her patient was, but this was disconcerting and dangerous to say the least. The dread and anxiety was beginning to climb in worry for her friend. 

“I’m so sorry you had to see that, Chloe.” Linda said sympathetically, this time at a loss for what to do. Guilt ate at her, seeing Chloe beat herself up over it. However, she couldn’t possibly explain or prove anything- that was up to Lucifer. 

“I can’t tell you much, but you need to know that you do help him, in ways you don’t know. You make him… better.” Linda affirmed, with a smile. “I promise you that he will, one day, open up to you. You have to give him… more time.” She winced at her words, and hoped that Lucifer would uphold them. Chloe deserved it. She desperately needed to know. Despite her choppy words, she saw that it had some effect on her friend, as she wiped her damp eyes with the tip of her fingers, smiling back. 

“I know it’s late, but I was hoping if you could maybe could go talk to him and…help him.” Chloe offered, Linda nodded, already finished with her sessions for the day. 

However,just as they were getting up, a ringtone sounded out from Chloe’s pocket. Chloe went to take it, in front of Linda, seeing it was from Amenediel. 

“Amenadiel?” Chloe called out. 

“He’s gone.” Chloe froze, bringing the phone closer to her ear. 

“What do you mean, ‘gone’?” Chloe demanded, Linda stepping forward, brows knitting together in concern. 

“He’s not at the hospital, he must’ve … snuck out or something!” Dammit, Lucifer, why and _how_ do you keep doing this? 

“Is he at the precinct? At my house?” She suggested, running her fingers through her hair. 

“No, I was just there- at the precinct that is, and Dan says he’s not at your’s either.” 

“Alright, I’ll go over with Linda to to check if he’s at Lux.” She said back, ending the call, putting her phone in her pocket as she faced Linda.

“I heard.” Linda said before she could even open her mouth.

She sighed,and they both left, Linda snatching her coat up from the armrest of sofa, the door swinging shut behind them. 

* * *

Lucifer walked into his apartment, soaking in the sight of his beloved penthouse for every detail- He’ll surely miss this place.

He spotted the case on the table top, and so he takes a few napkins from the bar beside him and walks over to it.He lifted the lid and tentatively uses the napkins to pick up the angel figurine from the case, sparing it of his fingerprints, and stared at the horrible thing..

This was it. This was the proof that the detective needed- to make her believe that he was telling the truth. Well, in regards with this particular case.That was amongst one of the many things he needed to do before his return to hell. A top-priority in his list was to have a word with Pierce, and somehow threaten the immortal- he would not have him hurt her. And even if he did and managed to very well die- he would promise him a rather personal welcome to Hell.

His head snapped up, a realisation crashing into him, “Pierce…” He muttered. Over the course of the past few weeks he and the detective had been growing more distant- of course, it was all his doing! Manipulating him, driving a wedge between him and the detective. 

But it didn’t matter, anyhow. What did matter was saying his goodbyes, albeit properly this time, and putting forward his threat as well as finding Mazikeen so they could both return to where they truly belonged.

“Lucifer?” 

He smiled tiredly, turning to her. “Ah, speak of the me.” He said, hoping to keep up his usual bravado, but the fatigue was somehow still in effect, and it lost its edge. Looking down, he realised how truly awful he looked- losing his jacket sometime over the whole ordeal, half his shirt tucked into his slacks, and he couldn’t imagine his face and hair faired any better. 

“We’re going back to hell, Maze.” He announced, in mock celebration. “You were right all along. We don’t belong here.” He waved his hand off, placing the figurine back in the box carefully, dropping the napkins. 

He heard her approach him, and the clinking of glasses.

“What do you mean?” He sank into the nearest chair with defeat, running his hand over his face and hair, sighing, exhausted. 

“My father’s finally… relinquishing control, and this time… I don’t think I can fight it. I think it’s about time I gave in.” He didn’t look up, but took the seconds of silence as shock and means for him to elaborate. Lucifer chuckled, hoping to hoard off the rise of emotion that was beginning to bubble inside him.

“I’m tired, Maze.”

“What happened?” She asked kindly.

He sighed. “Pierce- he’s been manipulating me this whole time, driving me away from the detective, framing me madder than I already seem…”

“Here.” Mazikeen called out hand with a glass of scotch, offering it to him. 

“Thank you, Maze, that’s very kind of you-.” He said, taking the glass and took a sip. He stopped in the middle of his tracks, acknowledging the too-long beats of silence, and turned to look up, and was greeted by her cold yet patient smile. 

“Which isn’t like you at all- why are you here?” Lucifer asked warily, dread starting to seep in.

It clicked. 

“You’re helping him, aren’t you?” Lucifer gritted out, smiling with strain. It truly just gets better and better, didn’t it? 

She clasped her hands together, smiling down at him sinisterly. “Helping him? This was _my_ idea.” She revealed, affronted that he would think otherwise. Lucifer took a sharp breath, suddenly winded at the prospect.

“After Pierce told me about that old lady who thought she saw an angel,that’s when it all came together.” She started to explain, circling around him in a saunter as she unveiled herself. 

She came up behind him, leaning into his ear “I planted the figurine by your bed.” She whispered. He frowned, the betrayal only just beginning to sink in, and the implications…

“My neck is still jacked from saving that dumb family from that fire in San Bernadino.” She spat, pulling away from him, voice void of sympathy and laced with too much pride.  “You came this close to waking up the other night when I took those handcuffs off- thankfully, hand cuffs in bed- I got that.” 

Lucifer was speechless. What could he say?

“What? Nothing to say?” Maze taunted, still smiling so horribly at him, all teeth. Smile not quite meeting her glistening eyes.

So what was the point? 

“How could _you_?” Lucifer breathed.

Maze suddenly seized forward, grabbing both of the armrests, bracketing him between them.

“Because I know what matters to you more than Chloe is _you_.Easiest way to spin you out.” She grinned, eyes malicious and deranged, thriving in her perfect punishment. 

“Tap into those daddy issues.” She spat, “‘I can’t get rid of my wings!’ ‘He took my devil face!’ ’Daddy’s controlling me’."

He had it. 

With a roar he shot up and thrusted her away, chest heaving, breathing hard as she flew into the wall, colliding harshly into the antique wall with a clap of thunder. 

“ _Daddy issues_?” He growled, walking over to her, eyes burning red. She growled back, sitting up, baring her teeth in the shape of a smile, ready for a fight. 

“You could not begin to fathom the depth of _my_ _issue_.” He snarled, grabbing her by the neck, lifting her up, nails biting into her skin. “You parade around, thinking you can file my issues under such nonchalance, deluding yourself into even thinking you could possible _understand_.”

“I suppose now’s the time then ever to correct you, Mazikeen.” She growled, kicking at him, but he pinned her down, effortlessly. 

“I had a family, Mazikeen, and they were supposed to _love_ me. That’s what family’s for? Isn’t it? They were all I had- all that even existed.” He bared his teeth, face mere inches away from hers, forcing her to keep eye contact. 

“And when I stood up for what I believed in - Control, freedom- things given freely to the humans-they did _nothing_ as my own father casted me out. ” 

“My brother, commanded to break every single bone in my body, shatter my wings so I could fall all the better. And he did. And they all watched, _my family_.” He spat, “My own father _demanded_ that for me.” He growled, putting more force around her neck, Maze spluttering in the chokehold and Lucifer immediately distanced himself away.

“And then I fell. Do you know how far Heaven is away from Hell? No, of course you wouldn’t.”

“Like a meteorite crashing to earth, I caught fire, I _burned_. ” He growled out, eyes glistening.  “Falling, at 72km per second, or so I’m told, I landed. Hard. I cannot begin to explain the agony, only to be greeted and comforted by the fires of hell licking at what was left of me, for _eons_.” His eyes watered at the memory, unable to keep his voice from despairing. 

“You’ve only been alive for a _fraction_ of that time.” He insisted, subconsciously tightening his grip around her throat.

"My ‘devil face’ was the result of that punishment, as my form never healed. And to think that my all-so benevolent Father decides to heal me, _now_ , as if he could erase all the pain and heartbreak he did unto me then- _oh_ , then he is sorely _mistaken_.” He smiled forcefully, scoffing.

“That is what my ‘ _Daddy_ ’ did to me, that is what my so-called beloved family allow happen over a single mistake- Oh, but  _you_ -.” Lucifer laughed, tears burning in his enraged eyes, shoving Maze deeper into the wall.

“You may have not have a proper family, Mazikeen, but you built a home here. They make the _one_ mistake, and even try to fix it and you punish the lot of them. Even still, Chloe tried to reach out to you, the spawn, dear Ella- who barely knows you yet still vouched for you. Even bloody _Daniel_ , for who knows what reason, and you casted them aside like they were _nothing_.” He hissed, finally letting her go.

“You are so lucky they still care.” He hissed, turning away from her, heading towards the bar, aware that he was vulnerable to an attack. She could certainly try. He snatched a random decanter from the shelf, and poured himself one, in efforts to calm himself, not quite yet able to look at her. 

The room was silent for stretched minutes, charged with emotion.

“You were my family, Lucifer.” 

He stopped in his tracks, placing down his drink. Her voice was hoarse and raw- and not just by his hand.“You were the only family I’d ever known.” She said fiercely. 

“But you are still my King, my ‘master’.” She started, and it was so long ago that he was referred to or referred to himself as either of those titles. “It was simple, then.”

“But then we came here, and that all changed. This _stupid_ place changed us, made us more like them.” She hissed. “Punishment, pleasure and pain was what we signed up for but then...!“ 

“This pain that I feel? I did not sign up for this. And its taken me this long to realise that most of it is because of you.” She seethed.“And I don’t want to feel it, I hate it- and I can’t handle it, Lucifer, I wasn't  _made_  for this.” She shook her head, chest heaving in ragged breaths. “But even when I begged you to take me back, you wouldn’t, because you don’t care about how all this affects me.”

“That is not true.”

“Oh really?” She shook her head, smile spiteful and incredulous, “It’s ‘detective this’, or ‘Chloe-that’!” She breathed heavily, “What about _me_?!” She cried, “I’ve been with you since the beginning, Lucifer.” She shook her head, “So what about me?!” 

“I never meant to hurt you, Mazikeen.” He gritted out firmly, putting his drink down, feeling guilt and impending emotion rise up in his throat.

“WHY DOES THAT MATTER!?” Maze yelled, frustrated. “Shouldn’t knowing that you hurt me be enough _?!”_

“IT MATTERS BECAUSE YOU _WANTED_ TO HURT ME!” Lucifer roared, eyes flashing molten red. Hestumbled back at the momentum of his words, suddenly stilling.

Lucifer brought his hand up, and saw with cold dread that it was beginning to twitch, his breath shortening.

“Bloody hell…” He muttered, icy fear overwhelming him just before his sight blurred, the edges of his vision darkening and overtaking his sight rapidly. He only just registered the pain in his knees as he hit the floor, right before everything turned black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much drama. I'm sorry/not/sorry for that cliffhanger...oops?
> 
> I hope you liked it! See you in a millennia T_T

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so something of this calibre wouldn't ever happen and I MAY have overdone it.... 
> 
> I might write another chapter after this? Comment if you think I should add a version of the Maze/Lucifer scene in the episode because I'm not sure if I should+ suggestions to what I should do next >;)


End file.
